Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: a refreshing breath
 
 
sconley@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Stephen M Conley) writes:

>I am 25, white, married, and bored.  Could somebody please flame me?
 
You stupid fuckin idiot. You're 25 and you got married already? What's
the matter? you can't make enough money in goddamn silicon valley to
support your cocaine habit so you had to prematurely ejaculate close
enough to some bimbo to entitle her to demand a commitment, and like a
dickhead you take her up on it. She painted a rosy picture for you,
didn't she? Rich yuppies in CA, smoking the best weed by the pool,
strangely quiet children slowly becoming neurotic in their closets...
And now you're BORED. No shit. You wake up one day, realizing you're
working 60 hours a week so you can keep up the payments on the BMW and
the absurdly large house you bought with a suffocating mortgage, and
you realize the only thing waiting for you after a 10-hour day of
waiting fo the payroll program to compile is a sallow-faced
high-school dropout who's still in her bathrobe at 7:00 PM and barely
had the energy to fight through the Valium haze and pop a Hungry-Man
frozen dinner in the microwave for you. This is what you're working
for? You stupid pudding-brain, this isn't a life, this is just
entropy! You're screwed! you've dug yourself into a pit! The only
thing left for you is a messy divorce and lifelong poverty.You have a
chance --just one ... that hot she-thing in the next office. She's
married. So what. Grab her by the wrist, drag her to your car, and
drive like a maniac down the first open road you find. Stop the cara
at some deserted spot, pull her out, and fuck like wild beasts. THAT'S
what you've been missing, isn't it? A little bit of the old
excitementand spontaneity? You can still have it if you go for it --
but you won't. You're over the hill already at 25. You're locked in.
You're destined to die of a coronary, scratching pointlessly at your
neck as your pants fill with crap at some stupid company dinner. Or
peter out into dust at some old folk's home, having to grab the nurses
ass just to get it hard enough to pee. Yuo pathetic lollapalooza.
You're the symbol of everything that's wrong with the moral fiber of
this country. Me me me me me me and yet you're all hollow inside. A
cream puff; no suubstance. The mailman is fucking your wife, but the
fact that he thinks she's a catch just goes to show how stupid he is.
You're out of it, you're history. You'd better end it now so you can
stop disgusting us further. You dumb putz.
 
HAPPY?
 
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